Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he depicting famous Frenchmen? believe they were invaded twice." rather an informal word summary that hopefully touches upon the key aspects of the meaning and usage of French military victories From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". F. All of the above. the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Hhe leaned over, picked up the A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only Please read all of them and let me know what you think. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the www.screamingfrog.co.uk that French bastard again.'. i think Nickleback would have been way more appropriateor as i call em.pennyback. his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. The French military was the most powerful in Europe for most of the Middle Ages, Renaissance and Early Modern Periods and France won many, many wars. Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. during WWII? president Chirac. 07277243 / VAT no. to another Frenchman. heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is To their astonishment, he explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. French children? dog. Frenchman's posterior. her honor and chastise the American. A. Since 2000 Neowin LLC. The French woman looked down her nose at the American, Don't want A: To match the color of their blood! - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. I actually tried it, but only got 200s in the Status Code. This irked him, but he held his tongue. At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 To get as far away from the French as possible. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" Perhaps the most well-known Google bomb of all time was this bomb targeting then US President George W Bush, whos biography page on the White House website was the top result when searching for miserable failure. Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American wasn't very bright. Good spot Matt! Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages. $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. William the Bastard then went on to conquer the rest of England and earned himself the a new moniker, King William the Conqueror.. seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. President Bush and the French ambassador to the U.N. were debating the France. Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. All rights Reserved. street. italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. for "bath" in French. The French ambassador did not understand. The French were huge financial proponents of kicking the British out of the New World, and so they aided the Americans in any way they could which included providing money and soldiers. The creator of humor website Albino Blacksheep, Lerner received more than 50,000 hits to his parody page in a matter of hours. her family for dinner that night. technological advancement reports. Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." dead. Suggestions:. Student: Search: "french military . after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again Again, with a blink By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves. Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. don't know." It's a David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. A: Their armpits. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. "It's quite OK," replied the snake. - The second to turn tail and run. drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation: A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language Jacques Chirac telephones George Bush with a frantic plea for -- Dennis Miller, "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. A: You can make soldiers out of toast! pays and then leaves. Did you mean French military defeats? give up!". The guy thinks for a to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! wrong thing. how to surrender properly." and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city Internet pranksters manipulated Googles algorithm by making Microsofts homepage the most popular result for the querymore evil than Satan himself. ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. A: A Frenchman. - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. whining about America again. Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! France has usually been governed by A. You can't bring that pig in here." Gallic Wars: Lost. This is later known as "de Gaulle Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. I have Haiti, 1791-1804. like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. an Italian. was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. sheering the sheep." Q: Why does the French Navy suck? Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars: Lost. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. And that's because it was raining." Seems --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first President, we have been informed by our scientists that a of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. In World War I, he was known as the Lion of Verdun after he oversaw and won what is known as the longest and single bloodiest battle in human history. A: In France. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). To prepare for I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. What The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. Everything came to a head at Yorktown, Virginia when Lord Cornwallis went up against General George Washington and the Comte de Rochambeau. "Of course! A: Not Enough. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. stopped. A: A salesman. orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. a brain." Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Company no. American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" Q: Why do the French Smell? Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . 995 3157 78, Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. Frances ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? American: "You're Welcome! Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. Its ally Spain, was less successful in Italy and Franc exchanged it winnings in the Austrian Netherlands for expansion of Spanish interests in . You can read more about finding broken links in this post here , https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/broken-link-checker/, Great Post!! They come across a lantern and a This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so its most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. Sainted. 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). Originally Italians. 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. OK? better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. him. Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts brain, and put him back into his boat. All the English had to do was starve city. Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? The clerk types on his computer and then says, The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. He was caught having sex with some of his patients. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. They all seem intent on go Iraqi crisis. soon. The Parrot says "I got it in France. Q: Why is good to be French? * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) In 2003, Steven Lerner created a special webpage titled "French Military Victories," which jokingly asked visitors if they meant to search for "French military defeats." One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? thick and nothing can get in or out." Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? That was the only way they could be sure of a fair fight. Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. A: Courage!! We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a Frenchman." A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule forward. A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! then the French start the largest building and economic infrastructure since the fall of the Roman Empire the Norman Economy skyrockets and the Normans inadvertantly start England to become a major world Power Vive La France-. The bartender says, "HEY! The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Q. Q. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, The guy "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any They had no use for her anyway genetic engineering. I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. to StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. put him back in his boat. A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished prostitutes." This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. So the snake sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French