AAAHH! Creep on back to that library of yours or something. The subsequent fall was inevitable. Well, this crime took place before school started. And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. When she was just two years old, her mother died. 4 0 obj Let alone getting the conversation going! And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. MATILDA pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively. She opens a book. We never thought it was possible, MATILDA Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. You wouldn't listen. So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here? MATILDA grabs her books and runs off the front of the stage. Haven't I just told you that she is a gangster? MISS TRUNCHBULL [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] I can see And Jenny's outside. "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. She found a small cottage. I didn't do anything! MRS PHELPS MATILDA Yes, wonderful. What's wrong with you? The boy's a looney. NIGEL Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Bruce 'Little Brucey: 1. "Escapologist", he says! BOTH: What a dear! If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. A life. Lissy Doll, I called her. Am I wrong? . [into recorder] Yes, sir. Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, Just go up and introduce yourself. My mummy says I'm a miracle. Agatha Trunchbull: MRS WORMWOOD MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. A contract is a contract is a contract! I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! MR WORMWOOD He's over there, under those coats. Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. And even if you could, BIG KIDS And so, the great day arrived! And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. I'm not paying it. You and I must be Weedles. And it's made of spikes and wood. "tomato"? The scene unfreezes. Extra strong. Agatha Trunchbull: Okay! Yes, your teacher. Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. 3 0 obj Matilda: . Calculate this! We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. But this little girl . Qui mon fella Italiano. Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids] Hmm. Now, look. Back before my life had ended, . He had meant to say, "When a child is bad." MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. . I'll be watching you, each and every one. You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout . 6. Harry Wormwood: Er, what books did you read? Zinnia Wormwood: ], CHILDREN Not a jot! Whoa! MISS HONEY Get on with it. Is a miracle! There's, erm . The table stops and the hands hit the ground. Hat seems to be, er . 5. CHILDREN MISS HONEY You chose books - I chose looks. [He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is]. and I shan't be talking to you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man! . MATILDA You should be embarrassed. You're being pathetic! And so you think you're A-ble Stand up and be proud! The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. CHILDREN and BIG KIDS run in, creating pandemonium. You fool! [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. Lights up. I love books. I got carried away. This living 'eLl. The cars will break down. You are guilty, because you are a fiend. And the 4th cost $1,100. Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. MISS TRUNCHBULL ACROBAT [off-stage] Look at these trophies. One look at my face and it's plain to see. See! The DOCTOR exits and MR WORMWOOD hurries after him. . RUDOLPHO So, what is it? MATILDA His do-dah. She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. It is delineated into "His" and "Hers" sides.] I sold it for $2,269. MISS HONEYbeckons MATILDA to the back of the class. You should read it. Stuff it in. It's very quaint, it's very sweet, Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced! Look at that! MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST PARTY ENTERTAINER And sailed high up, up above the stands You're not a little girl. Can you service me? And . But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. Come stai? Prettier barrelina! 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. Babes, I'm on fire, here! MRS PHELPS You have a worm, Mr. Wormwood: MISS TRUNCHBULL I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. You might as well be saying you think that it's okay, Bruce Bogtrotter: Oh, my hair! Don't put honey on your brother. Honest. Harry Wormwood: Harry Wormwood: Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! [She murmurs along to the music.] MISS TRUNCHBULL Even if what you got is not a lot. This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. Patience, my love. Yes. . A weakling? Go on, Brucey! Two, three, four. Oh, it will only take a moment. Adopt me, Miss Honey! Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. A person. DOCTOR MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels. Did I let myself go. Trivia CHILDREN 1 It's your fault. I am off to bleach my roots . Miracle! Than the volume with which what you don't know's expressed. Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. It's just pathetic. Now, here's a tip: RUDOLPHO MRS WORMWOOD MR WORMWOOD Tomorrow at one? I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. She laughs. He got a C on his report! Ahh! In this classroom, in this school, I am god! MR WORMWOOD Mrs. I always compete, doctor. If you sit around and let them get on top, you Even me. MRS WORMWOOD Crush that little weasel! Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. And I shall crush you. In fact, it must have been her who put that stink bomb under my desk this morning. <> and astronauts! Even if you're little, you can do a lot. MR WORMWOOD AAAAAHHHHH! Now, that is how you do it! Could I speak to you for a moment, please? "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. Brand new stock, sir! I didn't do it. Can I ask you a question? [grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist] . An exception. . Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. 4. Sing, children. In a manner of speaking, yes. A single slice, What is this trash you're reading? Come on!] MR WORMWOOD kicks her out of the way, talking on the telephone. Matilda: [insulted] To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess. MATILDA Zinnia Wormwood: Amanda Thripp: Matilda centers on Matilda, a young genius with telekinesis powers. <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> The CHILDREN reach out from behind the gate as the BIG KIDS carry them away. MISS TRUNCHBULL You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. endobj And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV! And do you tell them lots of stories like you do with me? Let me tell you something, son. MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. I broke your arm once before; I can do it again, Jenny. If you want to throw the hammer for your country, Over a drink. . Bye, Mrs Phelps! MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. It is, is it? She starts the video screens playing again. Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. A spotlight makes its way across the letters on the board, finally settling at the end on the letter Z. Nicholas Nickleby . Antibiotics, or . The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. I can't abandon my children. You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood? That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. The hat rack is taken away. Have to admit Matilda: MAN: So hilarious. Agatha Trunchbull: Oh, of course. It's time you learned the family business. MR WORMWOODOh, my good Lord. What did you think? My mummy says I'm a miracle. Oil of Violets hair tonic. MISS HONEY [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] MRS PHELPS Excellent man. That didn't happen. What is your name? Trunchbull: What on earth did you do that for? I have to tell you, Headmistress, that it is my intention to help this little girl. No. MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. Matilda Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. Oh, hello, Miss Trunchbull. What? . Someone poured a whole can of syrup onto Trunchbull's chair. I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, Harry Wormwood: Your parents must be so proud to have a girl as clever as you. She'll call a truce, Bruce. Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. MATILDA collects her books. MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. He flails around the stage.] . [chanting with the rest of the class] And that's not right. Now, eat it. But my mummy likes them! "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! Miss Honey: Rudolpho! Agatha Trunchbull: DOCTOR . And if it's not right, MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEY MRS PHELPS No one's going to listen if you don't shout. Matilda, you promised me you wouldn't go back in that house again. No. 4. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. DOCTOR You're supposed to be teaching SPELLING, not poetry! Three times two is six. We've curated this list of inspiring 'Matilda' quotes from the book and the movie. Jul 25, - Barney Stinson's Harry Potter pick up lines. [She flicks the screens off again.] Yes. People whispered that in her dark and brooding heart, she resented the sister, both her success and her love. Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! COUPLE 2 a contract. Yes! Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, I'm right and you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it! . Get the hell outta here! MISS HONEY I don't know. MATILDA sits to the side, reading a book. Knock on the door, Jenny. This calls for a proper smoke. Don't be disgusting! You have just made a very big mistake. Cause I had to slow down to take a second look at you. Crowd! [to Michael] . DOCTOR google_color_border="EDC7C2"; B-R-O-O-C-E! See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. Please! [to his partner] MISS HONEY[placatingly] Miss Trunchbull. [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] Nothing will change. This still, unbroken skin, Matilda, isn't it? Jenny: Psst! And it isn't wide enough to sit. Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. 9:17, suspect exits domicile. 1. You gotta get up! Yes! Where he's been for the last hour, actually. I can't find his frank 'n' beans! You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. Thank you for suggesting it. Yes! A DOCTOR enters. MRS PHELPS Now, the secret to my success in business is . MISS HONEY Who wants stories? . Miss Honey: And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. celebrities! Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. She uses them to carry on a conversation. Above average is average. It's out of the question. They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. I want to be in school. One look at my face and it's plain to see. . Mr. Wormwood: . Harry Wormwood: An idiot? And so you think you're able See who wins. As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the Just because you find that life's not fair, it You finally matched with someone who feels like a genuine person, exactly your cup of tea, but breaking the ice can be tough for us introverted fellows. It's not mine! MRS WORMWOOD Harry Wormwood: You don't need happiness or self-esteem. Oh Harry Wormwood: MISS HONEY Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen. MISS HONEY Instead, she's found me. She laughs. Do you think in that moment, when my big moment came, When the hinges creak and the door is closed, Miss Honey: With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. They're the bane of my life. Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. Stop scaring your mother with that book, boy. Parents wheeling strollers enter alongside their CHILDREN. And yet, every single life, What am I thinking? Nine times two is eighteen. Mr. Wormwood: MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. Are you smoking a cigarette? Oh, yeah? The condition is characterised by the sufferer experiencing bouts of chronic fatigue, and falling suddenly asleep, often without knowing, or any warning at all. Hey, dip face. That's it! This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. He's a small, ratty man, with luscious black hair. Maryn Liles Feb 17, 2023 It's no lie that online dating. Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. %PDF-1.5 . You should stay out of trouble, 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. MRS PHELPS exits as a siren wails and the scene changes to Crunchem Hall Academy. . This clot, this foul carbuncle is none other than a disgusting criminal! It's Miss Honey. Perhaps I'll wait. But if you did happen to have a story you wanted to tell . pregnant! Bruce Bogtrotter: [mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone] As me. Well done, Bogtrotter. Matilda: [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] And another door closes. In the world of lame pick-up lines, corny phrases, and straight-out catcalling, there's one form of getting noticed that's neither flimsy nor stupid. What about me, then? 2 0 obj I chose looks! But here it is, coming true: The gate rolls away. BIG KIDS enter menacingly behind the gate. That love and fate and a touch of stupidity Yes. BIG KIDS What do I have to do to gain respect around here? COUPLES, CHILDREN, and DOCTOR If I give the crowd their money back, where is my profit?! Miss Honey, please don't let them Harry Wormwood: [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] Cat in the Hat! Crazy Credits No one's gonna love you if you don't know the rumba. We give the Whisper Challenge a shot with a little spin on it. Dip face! Gloria Magitum! Lavender? And when you scream, you don't know if the sound came out, Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. [TV Version] When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. [walking out of the room excitedly] MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. And if it's not right, [as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers] MISS TRUNCHBULL You wanted cake, you got cake! Stop. Innocent victims of their story. And . Crime and Punishment . The apple never rots far from the tree! Smells chocolatey, eh? Eight times two is sixteen. COUPLE 4 Go on. Wormwood! Harry Wormwood had unintentionally given his daughter the first practical advice she could use. "I have a pen, you have a phone number. MRS WORMWOOD Agatha Trunchbull: Loud, loud, loud, loud! MATILDA . MATILDA Students: Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? so our main focus is on cute pickup lines, funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, corny pickup lines, clever pickup lines, bad pick up lines, worst pick up lines, sweet pickup lines, and this list is . But I've got a baby! According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. BRUCE turns back around and the scene unfreezes. No one is as handsome, strong as me. You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! . TOMMY Matilda: The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage has been . But I'm his little soldier. [to Zinnia] He surely can't! I'll tell ya, six hours a day of school IS NOT enough. BACKGROUND SINGERS Okay. Matilda: I wonder why they didn't just change their story. . Here's what I think of your lovely [He starts pulling at the book as though to tear it apart.]. A little less shh, a lot more schwing. Then your mummy is a twit! It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. MISS TRUNCHBULL A really strong stomach. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. Oh, no, you are not "full". A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. queens! What kind of society would that be? She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. Is like the TARDIS: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. BRUCE What a pleasure to see you. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. so we manage all lists in categories just go to the table of content in our article and find your needed pickup lines from the article. "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. Fifteen times two is thirty. MISS HONEY is left in a pile stage right. MATILDA, LAVENDER, and NIGEL raise their hands. MR WORMWOOD Of course! I'm the best! Matilda: You useless, used-car-salesman scum! I don't want green hair. MISS TRUNCHBULL runs in, blowing on her whistle, and chases ERIC down until he is pulled into formation by two BIG KIDS. Smile for mummy, smile for mother. And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? To hammer throwing, life, and school So she's learned a few tricks. The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. ALL GIRLS Stop being pathetic, Jenny. That is a promise. Dosvedoo-dah. Harry Wormwood: Piacelli. Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? To the rules. And for the good of those - PUTRESCENT LITTLE CHILDREN! There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . She uses the umbrella to bring down the hat and starts lining it with glue.]. have you read a whole book? As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? . It's your father who's going to federal prison. [realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt], [Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house]. . [She puts the book in the cupboard and hurries to the hat rack with a bottle reading "sooper gloo". The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS line up again. What do you think might be the cause of this? . 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. "Patience, my love," the husband replied. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. BIG KIDS To read? One should avoid confrontation when possible. Good morning, children! With her, it's all "books" and "stories". Bruce! Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! Matilda Wormwood! Make him stop! BRUCE MR WORMWOOD It was like the entire world went silent for that google_color_url="320000"; Who the hell do they think they are? They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. MRS PHELPS Harry Wormwood: Nothing will change. What about the Russians? FBI Agent Bob: MISS HONEY This means that pick-up lines are all about first impressions. The woman from COUPLE 1 blows on a birthday cake as the table splits in two and MATILDA stands from behind it, holding a collection of books from one hand. . The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". The chances of existence almost infinitely small. This is the cottage from your story. Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? Not yet, anyway. Miss Honey: Can you spell? My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. BRUCE For this newt, you piss-worm! Do you think I altered my intended elevation? LAVENDER RUDOLPHO But unless you want to suffer, listen up MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage]"It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". Lovekins, where's my breakfast? Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! Opening lines from children's books to capture new readers, to inspire writers, to reminisce with old favourites. A little less fact, a lot more feel. Alternate Versions Come on! MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. BIG KIDS Not dressed in hospital cotton, If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you. Look at you trying to hide, silly. She sat down, and when she got up . 2. She'll call a truce, Bruce. MRS WORMWOOD MISS HONEY And now she's after me! Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, [She underlines the sentence on the board.]. [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] MATILDA MISS HONEY DOCTOR My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all. You Harry Wormwood: If you're an escapologist, I must be an acrobat to balance that lot. Whether you like it or not. Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. . MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! What? The more that you try, [bends down] DOCTOR I live in a cage, Harry! Yes, sir. CHILDREN Whee! I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. Her mind is incredible. Zinnia Wormwood: MISS TRUNCHBULL Don't tell me. . Indeed, sir. Oh, let's put it this way. CHILDREN and COUPLES arrange themselves behind it. My mummy says I'm a miracle, Good-bye, Miss Honey. [everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in]. WOMAN: She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. Like you, I was curious, Hup, two, four, free. Michael: He drops it again. Is your nickname glucose? [She flicks on the light of the vanity in her parent's bathroom, which has risen from the stage. WOMAN: She's just delightful. [She presses an intercom on her desk.] Flipping, filthy, nasty, stupid Russians! "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." Loud, loud, loud, loud! "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] That's not fair! Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. Are you going to tell me a story or not? Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. And I never understood you, not one little bit Who's got a pen? For men. The guy with the stupid haircut! Each newborn life a canvas yet unpainted, Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. google_ad_width=120; BIG KIDS and CHILDREN Why? MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. But if I try I can remember, I didn't, I was on the garage roof. Ahh! As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt Michael: . Oh, my good Lord. Harry Wormwood: [Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde] Past Matilda. . Have another marshmallow, Dip face. [She gets on all fours as RUDOLPHO rides her like a horse.] MISS TRUNCHBULL MISS TRUNCHBULL her knickers stayed stuck to the seat! The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS hang their heads.